I’ve held to the sort of faith you speak of twice. First after losing my infant daughter and then again in the wake of October 7th. Or maybe it’s just a continuation of the same horror—my world having been shaken to the core. I used to say that I act as if there is light at the end of the tunnel, even when I can’t see it. But today even that feels off. putting one foot in front of the other seems about right. It’s all I can do. I’m no longer naive to the fact that real hate exists in this world. Today I refuse to be the socially acceptable Jew, who makes everyone else comfortable while my brothers and sisters are in danger for simply trying to observe their faith! And I write in faith as I continue to grope in the dark. In this moment I can say with near certainty that my faith exists as a love for my ancestors who braved so much to survive. Yes, my faith rests in their names. Thanks for this space and your words. You are my BROTHER.
This relates to something Rabbi Jonathan Sachs wrote: "Optimism is a passive virtue, hope an active one. It needs no courage, only a certain naiveté, to be an optimist. It needs a great deal of courage to have hope. The prophets of Israel were not optimists. When everyone else felt secure, they saw the coming catastrophe. But every one of them was an agent of hope."
I am having a hard time having faith. I know there is no where else to feel solice besides faith. My heart is broken.
For years I was an activist trying to warn anyone who would listen to the dangers of Islam. I feel lost and disappointed as we see how well that worked out.
. I see Jews voting for a Mayor in New York that openly calls for our demise. I am yearning to feel anything like faith. I grew up with bumper stickers that said " Keep the Faith". Your post is helping me deal with these feelings. Thank you.
I have difficulty relating to what you’ve experienced, as my people were not in this situation, and so far personally I’ve been through hard situations but not this hard. So I can’t understand your expansion to be honest, except in some small amount.
With that small amount in mind, I think I can somewhat see what you mean by faith is cold, but not entirely. But yes, life is cruel, and I’m afraid there is more darkness ahead, not only in the Middle East.
I've had many battles in my life in which I had nothing BUT faith to hold on to and I totally agree that it was the most horrible 'practice' to have to exercise as it was always a gamble.... For me it was a sort of an (energetic-mental) entity, I gave birth to, that lived in me and walked with me through the field of horror. My faith ached with me cried with me, at times it had to be stronger than me and at other times I had to 'emotionally defibrillate' it back into life, for if I had not, all hope would be lost. So in my case faith was the 'instrument' I've created to keep hope visiting us, and many times things did turn out fine, but sometimes they went horribly wrong. And yet my faith was resurrected, time & time again because statistically speaking ,sure, some battles were lost, But the war was won.
I’ve held to the sort of faith you speak of twice. First after losing my infant daughter and then again in the wake of October 7th. Or maybe it’s just a continuation of the same horror—my world having been shaken to the core. I used to say that I act as if there is light at the end of the tunnel, even when I can’t see it. But today even that feels off. putting one foot in front of the other seems about right. It’s all I can do. I’m no longer naive to the fact that real hate exists in this world. Today I refuse to be the socially acceptable Jew, who makes everyone else comfortable while my brothers and sisters are in danger for simply trying to observe their faith! And I write in faith as I continue to grope in the dark. In this moment I can say with near certainty that my faith exists as a love for my ancestors who braved so much to survive. Yes, my faith rests in their names. Thanks for this space and your words. You are my BROTHER.
.
This relates to something Rabbi Jonathan Sachs wrote: "Optimism is a passive virtue, hope an active one. It needs no courage, only a certain naiveté, to be an optimist. It needs a great deal of courage to have hope. The prophets of Israel were not optimists. When everyone else felt secure, they saw the coming catastrophe. But every one of them was an agent of hope."
Great post. As always. * I get no support, not to support* at end. Love you, Lee.
I am having a hard time having faith. I know there is no where else to feel solice besides faith. My heart is broken.
For years I was an activist trying to warn anyone who would listen to the dangers of Islam. I feel lost and disappointed as we see how well that worked out.
. I see Jews voting for a Mayor in New York that openly calls for our demise. I am yearning to feel anything like faith. I grew up with bumper stickers that said " Keep the Faith". Your post is helping me deal with these feelings. Thank you.
I have difficulty relating to what you’ve experienced, as my people were not in this situation, and so far personally I’ve been through hard situations but not this hard. So I can’t understand your expansion to be honest, except in some small amount.
With that small amount in mind, I think I can somewhat see what you mean by faith is cold, but not entirely. But yes, life is cruel, and I’m afraid there is more darkness ahead, not only in the Middle East.
I've had many battles in my life in which I had nothing BUT faith to hold on to and I totally agree that it was the most horrible 'practice' to have to exercise as it was always a gamble.... For me it was a sort of an (energetic-mental) entity, I gave birth to, that lived in me and walked with me through the field of horror. My faith ached with me cried with me, at times it had to be stronger than me and at other times I had to 'emotionally defibrillate' it back into life, for if I had not, all hope would be lost. So in my case faith was the 'instrument' I've created to keep hope visiting us, and many times things did turn out fine, but sometimes they went horribly wrong. And yet my faith was resurrected, time & time again because statistically speaking ,sure, some battles were lost, But the war was won.