DARKNESS

October 7th and the story of Jonah

The anniversary of October 7th is here. I was going to write some words but I know I don’t need to. You were there. You have been there this year. You know. It’s between your heart beats and between your red and white blood cells. It’s in you now. Deeper than words. Deeper than thoughts. It’s in you. And you will have to live with it being in you. It is not something you can extricate. It is you now.

I want to talk instead, briefly, about the story of Jonah.

Yom Kippur is approaching.

Amidst the most scintillating of Jewish texts capturing our history and anthropology, we also read the Book of Jonah.

It’s a fantastic story. I’m sure you know the basics:

God asks Jonah to go to the wicked city of Nineveh and tell the people there to change their ways. But Jonah runs from this mission. Instead he gets on a ship to flee. During the voyage a storm rises that threatens to drown everyone on board. Amidst the spray it’s discovered that Jonah running from God is the cause of the storm. At Jonah’s own suggestion he is thrown overboard and this ends the storm. In the water Jonah is then swallowed by a whale. After three days inside the belly of the whale, Jonah repents and is spat out. He goes on to fulfil his mission in which the people of Nineveh are saved. Then there’s an aftermath in which Jonah experiences bitterness. God delivers Jonah a lesson on mercy.

When we remember this story. When we imagine the scene. When we consider the plot we think that the worst moment is Jonah being swallowed by the whale. This is the scariest escalation. It is dramatic. A wild monster opening its mouth to eat us triggers the most primal fear. Being eaten alive is the gruesome fate of most life on earth. As the whale’s jaws open we feel this is the worst thing that could happen to Jonah.

But this is actually the happiest moment of the story.

This is the moment where we should clap our hands in gratitude.

Because what Jonah attempted to do was nothing short of a suicide attempt.

And the whale that God sent prevented that from happening.

If Jonah had been met only with sea he would have drowned. He wouldn’t have been able to breathe. But that whale - far from being the bad guy in the story - saved him. That monster was a life support machine. The darkness that enveloped Jonah - a life support machine. Giving Jonah time out from the world - a life support machine.

What seemed like a monster was a moment of salvation.

Jonah’s darkest moment was not the end, but a moment of opportunity.

It gave him a chance for transformation.

And he took it.

In the cocoon of his despair, Jonah was shrouded in a darkness so hermetically sealed he could no longer see the outside world. So connected was he to his own pain, all his attention was drawn inwards to that agony. He could focus on nothing but his own sadness. And in that darkness there was only one place left he could look into - himself. And he looked. And he had the courage to connect with himself honestly. He realigned himself to the truth. And he did transform. And he emerged from the whale into the daylight.

It doesn’t feel nice to be in darkness and despair. I think the technical term is it feels fucking shit. But what we mistake for destructive agony can actually be a healing pain. It hurts to transform your body through exercise. It follows that it’s going to hurt a little when you transform your soul and your life. The important thing is to take the pain and take the opportunity.

If you ever get swallowed by a beast, whether that beast is despair, hopelessness, darkness, depression, lies, self-deception, estrangement from yourself, departure from the real you, unhealthy choices, destructive patterns, a series of terrible events or a set of dim and dire circumstances, as long as you stay breathing you have a chance to turn things around.

As long as you keep your body going, as long as it remains a vessel and life support machine for your soul like the whale was to Jonah, you can rise again, better than before.

You will face the most important decisions of your life only at your lowest moments.

And tough times provide opportunity to make the biggest gains.

Do not waste the worst moments of your life. You don’t get many. Take advantage of each and every one.

I hope God gives blessings to everyone damaged by October 7th. I hope you receive blessings you can’t even imagine. I hope you can’t even believe how happy you are one day. I hope your blessings came from the north, south, east and west. I hope they come from above and below. I hope they come from within and without. The important thing is, they will come. But to receive those blessings, you have to stay alive and hopeful even in the darkness.